Then Why The F#$% Are Your Pants Off?

Dear Followers,

The art of procrastination is profound indeed. With AP exams out of the way, my levels of procrastination have reached sky highs. The long nights of last week when I was writing furiously to meet deadlines and pump and dump as much information as possible contrast sharply with the equally long nights of this week playing SC afterschool and catching up on my Spring 2011 schedule.

Procrastination, like many things, takes many forms. I have one basic rationale behind my procrastination: I can do something later more efficiently. Ishmam was here (yes, Ishmam received behind-the-scenes access). I personally believe that everybody has a cycle of “optimization.” The brain can only focus and work with full capacity for so long before one loses efficiency. But of course, this rationale is nothing but baloney.

This rationale is pleasing for me because of my fundamental problem concerning procrastination: I can never begin my homework. Once I begin, completing my homework is not a problem. However, beginning is the hardest part. Many of you probably face the same problem or some variation of what I face. Here are some of my common delay techniques.

“Let Me Find A Save Point”

This became a problem when I got my hands on Pokemon Gold Version. JRPG’s seem to always eat up my weekends. I remember during el verano pasado when I played FFXIII for 16 hours. I actually peed in a water bottle (I was feeling like Leonardo DeCaprio in “Aviator,” ok). JRPG’s are especially dangerous because of the toll they exert on my body. After a decent session, my eyes are bloodshot (even more than normal) and I can barely move. You may believe I am exaggerating. I’m not.

Over the past year, my JRPG’s have been replaced with SC however. While I am able to restrict my play time with SC because I only play LAN multiplayer (I haven’t played a single BNET game by myself), I find ways to waste time anyways. For example, in AP Macroeconomics today, instead of taking my study hall to complete my Differential Equations homework which was due two days ago, I decided to LAN with JZ. My TvT victory was completely worth the effort nonetheless.

“The Facebook Delay”

Oh how deadly you are Facebook. Facebook has a magical ability to speed up time. What I plan to be 5 minutes of checking my notifications and saying hello to a few friends usually develops into 1 hour of looking up Google images and spamming my friend’s walls with the craziest images I can find. My newest find is a page from “Air Gear” (find URL).

While I am no longer involved in the Farmville craze of 2010, my newest productive activity on Facebook is the dynamic “Poke” system. From my simple “Poke” skirmishes with Miles Death, my army and I have moved into full-on wars with General Ahmed and Colonel Meyer. Right now I Colonel Meyer has me under siege.

Facebook can be particularly destructive when I decide to ask a friend for some homework help. Now the problem shifts from beginning my homework to continuing my homework. What seems like a productive interchange for 2 minutes quickly shifts into a collection of “lolz.” Don’t get me wrong, I love my “lolz” as much as any of the Facebook professionals (Vikhil), but I can’t help but notice my procrastination.

“Just One More Episode"

This technique seems to always eat up my weekends. What I plan as a 30 minute break eventually turns into a marathon. Case and point is Spring Break. Instead of studying for my AP exams, I decided to watch every single episode of “Kimi ni Todoke.” Nothing makes you feel like a hikikomori like covering yourself in a blanket for 6 hours inside a dark room with nothing but the television light to illuminate stacks of Pocky and Gatorade on the floor.

Recently I have been sucked in by “Hayate no Gotoku,” one of the craziest shows on the planet. The plot centers around a young male who through a fantastic chain of events becomes a combat butler for a young female. While “Hayate no Gotoku” may only be funny for people who understand the millions of Japanese references jam-packed into each episode, nobody can deny the powers of Mask-The-Money-San.

There you go. My homework will not be completed tonight. God Final Fantasy is beautiful.

(THEME: AIR GEAR)

Keep Your Panties On Sweetheart,
Noel